{THE PILL BOX } spacer
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{Saturday}

 
CORPSES IN OUR DREAMS

So I have this dream: Saddam was on the RED phone in the Pill Box conference room, and we’re discussing my agents fee for his upcoming role in the new KFC advert …

…Some say UPCHUCK but me I don’t see N-ee-ting wrong a deposed celebrity like the Saddster do what he has to do to GET OVER you know I’m saying? The bwoy offered himself up for I’m A Liability Get Me Out of Here what more he gonna do to protect his ‘b’ list status? It’s post IRONIC this gig, don’t you know; see, Saddam be sellin’ chickenhawk-burgers back to the ‘Mericans – it’s, like, where’s that script, selling oil back to the A-rabs or something, sand, camels, the hell I know I just take my 15% and keep Max Clifford’s number handy things go beret up…

… but it might have been the BURGER I dont know the dream became a mirror and the mirror became a cage and there it was:

WINONA AS ELVIS! YOUNG Elvis more’s the point and goddamn she's wearing a PILL BOX t shirt and I’m beginning to groove on this dream now, Winona as Elvis is an imago I frankly find pretty mmm – but NO! Colonel Guralnick has to butt his tortoise head in this point sez ELVIS DIDN’T TAKE DRUGS!

So then its like this snap! snap! snap! MTV video deal – Elvis as Ali G – Elvis as Saddam – Saddam as Peter Sarstedt as Jason King as Jim Morrison as GUESTs on the original SUNI & SHIA show (“They say our war won’t heal the rent…”)

… then it hots up again ‘cept it’s not Winona (bathroom break?) it’s LIL KIM as LITTLE ELVIS now ‘cept [SOME ROCKERS MIGHT FIND THE FOLLOWING PASSAGE OFFENSIVE] its rock and roll reborn as a CLIT not a DICK it’s the last transgendered mutation of the King & the king’s thing it’s Elvis as WICKED BITCH in wicked BLING … (‘S he REALLY got a gold rimmed ring?) … I mean if BECKHAM can be black I don't see why the King can't be a QUEEN and work the boulevard of broken pipes and sell his little elvis for snack money all along the twilight hereafter. . .

AND ALL MY PREZLEEZ in the whiteHOUSE say: ‘LES GET HIGH!’

“You wanna see under my hood? Ya wanna rub up on my titties… sweetie?’ sez Elvis all the boys now call him GLADYS -

“-but WOAH!” sez Saddam in his brand new pimpmobile rabbit fur
coat, “you kiss yo’ mums with that mouf?’

And then I remember waking up with the idea for a new cartoon: “WHERE’S SADDAM?”



C LIST BLUES

verbatim quote from Lisa Scott-Lee [ex of STEPS]:

“I remember waking up the next morning and thinking ‘God, I’m not a pop star any more,’” she recalls. “I thought ‘How is my life going to change?’ I always had free haircuts and I wondered if that would stop.”



CONSTANT SHALLOWNESS LEADS TO EVIL





posted by Ian 4/26/2003 07:12:00 PM

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