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I have neither offspring nor satellite television - which makes me pretty unique and or peculiar on the estate where I live {"that funny old git who talks to all the cats..."} - so I don't know how something like MTV works when it comes to the UBIQUITY effect of certain HIT records.

But when I was springGleaning last week, I came across, buried DEEP DEEP DEEPly away, two CD 45s, both from 1998: "Thank You" by Alanis Morissette; and "Save Tonight" by Eagle-Eye Cherry. Now, it hardly need be remarked that this is NOT yer everyday PILL BOX listening fare, e-zy or otherwise. But I popped them in/on just to see ... and I was further mystified. I've bought Summer Madness 45s before on the heard-once basis of thr great hooks - and I do still love 'em: NEW RADICALS [you get what you give], GARBAGE [milk], FUN LOVIN CRIMINALS [The Fun Lovin' Criminal]. But these two? All suspended snobbery aside, I still had to pull 'em off pronto, 'cos I JUST couldn't seehear WHY I would have ... and then I remembered.

1998. Road trip round ARIZONA.*
*{thanks Nicky. Where ARE you?}

Stopping every night at one more MOTEL. A state of suspended animation. Every night the Same: motel bedroom vacancy, disturbed sleep patterns, insomnia, Jack Daniels, ice machine, pad pad, and ... the endless loop of MTV. And everywhere I went/stopped that week or 10 days: Alanis Morissette and Eagle Eye Cherry on HEAVY ROTATION. I can still remember the Morissette video. "Controversial" (yeah, right) cos she stood naked in it while speeded up CITY LIFE Koyaanisqatsi'd around her. "Nude", rather, than naked, as some editing desk trick smooothed out her {euh, dont even go there} e-zones.
But they became like FRIENDLY FACES these blipverts. Like fellow strangers in a strange land. The hooks were EMBEDDED in my head.
As soon as I got back home to the UK I literally went straight out and bought them from OURPRICE.

And then ... lacking context, these ghosts swiftly faded.
I never played them again. Buried them deep like nuclear waste.

And - I promise - if I'd played them today and they'd sounded good I would've come clean to the fact. But they sounded ALIEN: dud, flat, barely there. The EE Cherry at least had a winsome hook of sorts, but the AM barely sounded like a "45" per se at all.

Could this be one of the reasons so many 45s whiz into the charts and straight back out again these days? The subliminal kiddology of MTV pulls all our Midwitch Children in to local OURPICE or micro VIRGIN stores - who, many of them ONLY NOW STOCK a limited selection of stuff, anyway - but then when the SPECTACLE effect wears off, you're left with something that, "musically", is like defrosted gunk or week old Wedding Cake.
{The idea that some of the S CLUB type records are specifically subliminally designed to suggest to kids that they are, in effect, BUYING THEIR OWN RECORDS ... a kind of perversion-of-punk or DIY-ethos Freudian wish-fulfillment schema? Who knows.}

On the other hand, I can remember 45s that I HEARD ONCE {no hype, no reviews, no knowledge} - and felt absolutely compelled, that instant, to rush out and POSSESS. Kate Bush: "Running Up The Hill" The aforementioned New Radicals. Massive Attack's first two 45s. Mary J Blige "Not Gon' Cry" ... oh, there are others {ADD YOUR OWN} but these examples POPped into my head first.

{There is the EXACT REVERSE syndrome of course. The NME SINGLE OF THE WEEK syndrome: where you read some HYPEALICIOUS orgasm in print about, I dunno, some sub Shed 7 or Frank & Walters bunch of no hopers ... and you buy it, against your better instinct and past experience, andyou get it home and play it and ONCE AGAIN, duped, perplexed, you think... IS THAT ALL THERE IS to an NME Single of The Week?}

KYL TRILL KULT [discontd]

By the by, pure malicious bitchiness here BUT ... caught a glimpse of the ikonoplastic KYLIE last night {on this bizarre ITV reality-doc about Oxford St/Selfridges} ... and, er, it wasn't so much that she was looking "rough" {we wouldnt stoop so low as to judge the pawgirl sisterhood by such standards OH no} but ... how can I put this? She was looking a bit Philip K Sick to me, a bit Terminator 3, a bit cyber-pixie pointed and peaky, a bit tacko Jacko, a bit as if ... the SURGERY is starting to SHOW THROUGH**. Sha-MON, bitch! Betta git yo' baaad self on Trisha talk about I FEEL LIKE MY FACE AIN'T MY OWN! Sha'moan motha fucker!

**{And if KLYIE's rottweiler lawyers are reading this: The preceding is mere mock malicious speculation which DOES NOT represent an assertion of FACT on the part of the Author, who died a couple of decades ago anyway. Someone else told it to him. A bigger boy. He told me if I didnt put it in my "stoopid library card nancy boy u said you'd kiss MEN rather than JORDAN you're a POOF then you are" blog he'd do things with a blackmarket firework to my cats. Honest.

posted by Ian 7/30/2003 01:15:00 PM

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