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{Saturday}

 
8 THERMIDOR

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There may be something wrong with me: with my internal clock.

I watched Ghost World yesterday afternoon, on which more in a moment, and then The Simpsons, and the C4 News, and then ... who knows?
I mean: Naps Are Not Unknown in the freelance time schema, you know? So but I woke up on the sofa planning to catch Van Sant's PSYCHO remake, which I was really looking forward to, and then but when I looked at the clock it was a scarcely believable 1:38 am.

And then I went to bed.
And slept another six hours.

I think maybe my body is protesting about something.

So: Ghost World. Great and all that, yeah yeah, what am I gonna tell you you don't already know, given that I lag so far behind with LATEST THING releases in cinema and music both, but I was kinda disappointed it bevelled on that age-old device beloved of film makers ... like, The Truth About Cats and Dogs* and that French farce with Depardieu** where he has to "choose" between his twig thin golden MODEL wife and a supposedly "dumpy" "plain" cleaning lady also spring to mind.

I mean Thora Birch/ENID is a total GODDESS!!!!!!
I love love love love love love LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEher!
(And there's something wrong with you if you don't, too.)

And?, in real life?, that imperious cool bitch act of Enid's?
It would totally have boys and men (and cats and dogs and eunuchs and aliens) totally at her big booty big booted feet. She is SO obviously (as my friend Chris P. said about the Depardieu flick) a hundred times more interesting and interestingly sexy than her trad. "model" counterpart[s].

Was is it about so-called models anyway?
Is It Just Me {haven't used that phrase for a while!} or are they, like, totally UNsexy and, like, it would be like making love to a cross between an antelope and a belisha beacon?
{And a compact mirror. And, like, no one ever says this, but: a BOY, fundamentally. Do gay fashion designers like women who look like BOYs because they like to imagine a certain 14-15 year old first crush in the country or at school pubescent boys body draped in sexy drapey clothes?***

Thora Birch in Ghost World is so totally awesomely sexy (and you're all so totally going to get sick of me using the word totally, like, right now?) and one of the reasons is a) big combat boots worn with frilly dresses - always a winner on this man's palette {for reasons that are so obvious we won't even go into them BUT let's just note in the Real Fleshly Body vs Model Boy debate, that Thora/Enid's big booted clump clump actually emphasises her sweet heavenly womanly mass just as much if not far more (less obviously but more sexily so) than, you know, $3000 Sex In The City style kitten heels ...

{And while we're on the subject and skirting dangerously close to, you know, like, being unforgivably personal and giving away WAY too much about myself here, isn't Sex In The City second only to Will + Grace in having women characters who aren't really women at all in any verifiable sense but rather Gay (Script Quippin') Men In Psych Drag?
For the longest time I could never work out why I didn't find a single one of the four Sex In The City women in any way attractive until I realised this; I mean, you know, let's not shy away from the facts of life here, men are DOGS, sluts, we have crushes on cartoon women** fer crissakes, I mean, come on ... and if not ONE in FOUR of the SITC gals strikes a resonant chord something is UP, I'm here to tell you, or rather, it isn't, Missus ...)

*{alright, not a good example, because Janeane Garofalo and Uma Thurman are goddesses both, in different ways and for different reasons. Did you know that Uma's dad is practically Mr Buddhism in the USA?

**(yes, I know, this trade description covers about 18 thousand million films released in the last 4 months alone...}

***{interesting glimpses in the CHET BAKER biog I'm reading of BRUCE WEBER in this regard; who, he is, like, totally trapped suspended marooned back in the 40s/50s before he... well, I was gonna say before he came out. But has Bruce Weber like, ever totally come out, really? Ha! As I literally just wrote that - retyping a misspelt "trapped", my morning soundtrack, The Spinners [frm thr sublime Greatest Hits] actually CHORUSed: "- living in the past! ..."

****{Sexiest Cartoon Woman of All Time? Got to be Tex Avery's Little Red Riding Babe when she metamorphoses into a Showstopping Rita Hayworth a like. "Wolfie, oh wolfie..." Ah-wooooooo! I mean, forget Lara Croft. Maybe it's a generational {i.e. pre-Loaded} thing, but Lara Croft? Never got it, not at all. Then again, there are pretty men I'd rather snog than Jordan (eeeeeuuuuuh...) say, and I don't mind saying so ...}

Ghost World notable for that WONDERFUL moment when Enid is hit by the power of the Blues record. I can't think of too many other Moments In Film when music love is (so) convincingly wordlessly portrayed. Or at all. Or with a girl/woman, rather than some nerdy fanboy collector guy.

There is that great moment in Diner when the record collector guy freaks out and has a screaming fit becoz his wife put his James Brown record in the wrong category or something; but that is less about music than it is communication between the sexes, which is why Diner and Tin Men, may be 89% filled with guy and guy banter and guy badinage but are actually about women, or at least difference.

THEN... CAME... WHO?

Hey Nineteen, that's 'Retha Franklin!
She don't remember ... the Queen of Soul!


And OH MY GOD this SPINNERS boxed set: OH MY GOD: "Then Came You" by The Spinners + Dionne Warwicke. OH MY GOD. Talk about yr musical madeleines. OH MY GOD. Sheer awesome eternal fuckin' beauty - which I know may sound unlikely for uh younger Enid type readers who only know both entities as embarrassing supper club has-beens (and in the case of groups like The Spinners perplexingly made up of half 78 year old grand-dad types and the other half "not original line up" small print type strap on members...) or the butt of jokes on that shitty TOTP2 programme ... but ... OH - MY - GOD! Thom Bell! Johnny Bristol !! Rubberband Man!! Ghetto Child!!! THEN CAME YOU ... See girl I'm a simple man doin' the best I can to let you know I LOVE you ... And even tho it's a 3 CD Boxed Set, there's NO NEED for gimmicky add ons and re takes and out takes and studio floor scrapings etc, because the journey of re acquaintance is ... ah... oh shit oh gawd, I really AM turning into Steve Buscemi Man frm Ghost World ...
talking of which ...


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[You may have noticed this section didn't have a subhead but if it did I guess it might be:

'Is It THAT Obvious I Haven't Been Laid Lately? I am TOTALLY Steve Buscemi in Ghost World, well, except I have a TAD more social grace and conversational fluency, well actually, a LOT more, I'm a bit of a snake actually, I wouldnt go near me if I wuz you, and like, maybe I'm actually the total NOT 'Steve Buscemi-in-Ghost World' comes down to it, I mean, all my collections have been sold over the years for nefarious ...'
Er, let's just stop there. We're getting precariously close to soemthing which feels almost uh like I'm BLACKMAILING MYSELF or some damn strange thing ... ]

+ ---- -

Final additional * I've just thought of: "belisha beacon"?
Is that, like, still in general useage; or is it like, totally {final "totally", honest, really, yeah, right, totally ...} an instantly identifiably Old Guy "You don't remember 'belisha beacons'!" type thing to say?

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{And in re THE SPINNERS BOX SET: BIG hugs and non-erotic kitten style kisses and Pawsannahs and eternal thanks to Friend of the Pill Box C.B./B.K, he knows who he is, but he's such a genuinely good + shy + self effacing type guy such as you so rarely come across these days I won't embarrass him any further here ...}

posted by Ian 7/26/2003 10:41:00 AM

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