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 Tuesday
THE PARIS RIOTS
{or: let them snort coke...}
I think a lot of people ENVY Paris: because she knows EXACTLY WHO SHE IS.
She knows exactly who she is, and isnt troubled by it. Doesnt show the requisite pennance. (Like a spell in rehab, or the mandatory fake charity gig.)
There are hundreds of massively spoiled and coddled and vacuous and protected slebs in the world; but if you have an 'up from prole roots' narrative (the divine Kate M) or if you are a male indie rawker (Evan Dando, say) people go all swoony or abstract-theory and overlook your sins. See also: all those middle class educated rappers who've made zillions thru their cynical exploitation of the 'gangsta/playa' thread, and still get Respeck.
I think the particular people who envy Paris the most are probably Popbitch type gossip-monger/celeb-watcher people, partly because they have put themselves in this strange Master-Slave relationship with ditsy slebs in general (see also Victoria Beckham) but Paris in particular; and even tho they devote half their own lives to a chronicle of these sparkly other lives they think their subjects' fame is, at base, "unearned".
But who strikes you as DUMBER in this equation? Uh?
One of the reasons I like the Paris (thus far) is that there has been no worked-up strictly-spin apologies: no 'train wreck then rehab/chat show confession/anorexic tell-all/United Nations envoy or charity gig' join the dots narrative. She knows who she is, what her limitations are, and she works it. No one forces the media to give her so much oxygen and space ... and they maybe can't bear to admit to themselves she is nearly always one step ahead and has READ them perfectly and made her self a totally irresistble proposition...
... which I also supect most media people wouldnt resent quite so much if, say, there was a male Warhol figure lurking there behind Paris, who they could credit with the requisite media skills and cynical 'manipulation of media' plot; which, in their minds, would somehow 'justify' the whole thing; whereas just Paris, being happy and shiny and sexy, somehow DOESNT ...
Paris is her own invention, and has never apologised or changed: there is no hypocrisy. The media, on the other hand, has been in a secret shame spiral of jettisoned values and dumb-down laziness ... and cant bear to see Paris happy untroubled face staring back at them every time they give her more publicity, because it shows THEM up, not her.
I remember reading the first Vanity Fair article on the Hilton sisters (long before Paris became "Paris") and, well, liking them. They seemed like canny modern girls, having a ball. (Admittedly, to organs like The Daily Mail, this has always represented the beginning of the end of the world, but since when did we take our sub cultural cues from the Daily Mail!?)
(BTW: I still think Nicky is the sexier one - but then, that's a given: dark and back and to the left and secretive will always be sexier in my book than blonde and upfront and DO YA THINK I'M SEXY!?... But hey, I'm not gonna construct some preeningly "moral" worldview around it and say that anyone who doesn't fit is "repulsive" (the most common word I found used of Paris after 2 minutes research on an Indie music discussion page...)
I've no idea how smart or what kinda smart Paris is, but I just somehow get the same old feeling of a vapour of misogyny under a lot of this ANTI-PARIS blather. Yeah, OK, she's not Judith Butler, but she never promised to be, did she? 'O! But she doesn't DO anything!' wail all the sallow grim-faced Indie type people, who seem to be among the most vituperative ANTI-Paris factions. You'd think that the kind of Indie groups these people uncritically worship were, like, you know, SCHOENBERG or something, instead of hapless dorks with Blonde on Blonde shags who make the Smiths sound complex. I mean: who's actually more - and more unhappily - "obsessed" with Image here?
(The all too contrived non-image Image of Indie music - that's a topic for another time; along with this strange thing I've often noticed in Indie/Rock land, to wit, the valorisation of Femininity ONLY if and when it is "dark" and "troubled" a la Courtney Love, i.e., weak and flailing out of control, and thereby either fascinating for the smug male gaze, or in need of either Help or Explanation, which may ultimately amount to the same thing a lot of the time, from Billie Holiday on... )
The hatred vented in the direction of Paris is surely disproportionate.
You know who I hate a hundred times more? College educated media studies type people who work on E4 or Heat and make a career out of the complete low level mockery and IRONY-isation of everything, like, 'We know this is crap but here it is anyway "on your bleedin telly box" bored voice between quotes.
Compared with this SCUM, I am 99% sure that a night with Paris would be the best kinda fun.
(Hey: maybe people just dont like to admit that they find rich folk SEXY, never, no how, uh uh, nuh see't?)
I dont know about interview her, but if some publisher wants to give me a big wodge of dosh to knock out a quick book on everythng pertaining to the PARIS subject, I'm more than up for it... there are just SO many jumping off points - sex, celebrity, class war, etc. It's all there. It can be my Lester Bangs Blondie book ha ha.
No - seriously.
I'd love to do THE ONE PARIS HILTON BOOK ALL MEDIA STUDIES STUDENTS HAVE TO BUY.
C'mon canny publishers - drop me a line in the COMMENTS box.
But on one condition: it absolutely MUST NOT be called 'The Judgement of Paris.' I would rather I HEART PARIS, frankly. Or, THE PARIS RIOTS. Or, PARIS 69 t hee...
posted by Ian 9/05/2006 09:56:00 AM
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THE PILL BOX 
