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I am absolutely knocked-out drug-down in total love with "Ring The Alarm" the thunderous record - but what IS it with Beyonce and her strange robotic increasingly Bad Mime-like video "dancing-acting-signifyin'"? It seems to get worse with each new release. I know she's meant to be, like, "mad", like with her "man" in the song; but here she just looks, like, MAD, like somewhere there is a man in a white coat with a tranquilzer gun and a butterfly net and a clipboard with the name Beyonce on it.

And ... Basic Instinct references? Really? REALLY? Are you SURE that's the best you can do?

Eminem is surely WAY off-base with his silly silly Hannibal Lecter mask in his new video, too. I mean: talk about dated. (Don't these zillionaire RnB stars know you can buy new DVDs off the Interweb?)

Where are Beavis and Butthead when we need them?



thanks to Blackmail Is My Life for the link/idea, BTW.


I'm sure it's only my Old Guy imagination, but at certain crucial parts of "Ring The Alarm" I could swear that Beyonce sings

"We gon' rock the P.F. Sloan!"

And if you don't know who P.F.Sloan is you're probably not a middle aged rock critic with an elephantine memory for trivia...

posted by Ian 12/08/2006 08:19:00 PM

I think the director chose the Basic Instinct images to convey the Diana Ross insanity re Beyonce's alleged split with Jay-Z for messing with Rihanna.

I don't mind the choice myself but my judgement is clouded by, well, Beyonce's appearance.
I don't know who P.F. Sloan is (though I've heard of him) - to me it sounds more like "P.P. Sloan", meaning Patrick Pentland from Sloan...

The youtube folks said La Knowles was ripping off/inspired by Janet Jackson & this song:


which is fine, except Janet's not barking mad in it.
Dear Ian.

I am a researcher working for a documentary production company, and I would like to E-mail you a proposal for possible involvement in an upcoming project.

Please E-mail me at leeanne at crpprojects dot com, and I will send you the proposal and see what you think.

Many thanks,

Production Researcher
hey mr. p, hope you had a nice christmas. come back soon.
Hi Ian,

I have been trying to contact you regarding Rickie Lee Jones, but do not appear to have your email address.
Do you think you could contact me on kit@thepublicityconnection.com

She's singing " V.V.S. stones" , slightly flawed diamonds. Less interesting, but makes more sense in the context of the song.
Hello, dear Ian!
I am photo editor of a magazine called "Bolshoi Gorod" ("Big City", Moscow, Russia, our website is bg.ru).
As we are working on an article dedicated to some interesting blogs, we've already made a screenshot of your page and else we do need a picture of you - could you please send one to my e-mail ASAP?
It's margarita@afisha.ru.
Thaaaanks =)
Unfortunately I can't translate Russian but Margarita's bloggers hall of fame is now up:

This'll help you 'rise-above'. Literally. Think about buying my eye-opening, efficacious, avant-garde novel, thus, receiving enlightenment from inner self how to proceed in our lifelong demise (with 24/7 sardonic satire, of course). Alleluia!! I'm now a full-fledged-Loser!! I'm very proud to giveth unto thee my own, altruistic version of Loserdom. God bless.
I presume that Ian's OK ?
Last post 8/12 is a bit of a worry, no ?
It's best not to speculate. Perhaps the black dog has taken hold of him, perhaps he is deep in his novel (It's about...EVERYTHING!) - maybe he is motorcycling across America. All we can be sure of is that there has been no obituary.
Merry Xmas & A Snappy New Year.
Very Nice your Blog
Please come back Ian, WE NEED YOU!!!
I LOVE YOU!!! you have given me such nourishment!. Please, I need your wondrous analytical, intellectual, aesthetic skills to comprehend this forlorn world. I wait in anticipation for your next utterance, salivating and mentally quivering in an abyss of mindless commentary your absence has (unwittingly) contributed to. Why aren't you a regular broadcaster like your former cohort, Morley? You are required much more urgently to fix this moribund, cynical, apathetic and overly ironical state of British culture.
Hi, Ian

Great blog - I agree with the previous comment. Drop me your email when you can - I only have an old email address for you.

Philip Brophy (Cinesonic)
Just marking one year since the last new post.

I don't know where you are or what you're up to but I'd be very grateful if you came back.

".....Please, I need your wondrous analytical, intellectual, aesthetic skills.."

I wouldn't say no to a bit of Penman vigor either, but he surely must be workin' - guys like him can't not
just checking in. What does he do these days? He was pretty good.
Ian, where can a get a copy of your essay "The Annihilation of Rhythym"?
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